Essays
A Director Prepares
Memory: The History of a Person
This essay is about how the American Theater stands, not only on it's history, but that of the European Theatre's past
Before even reading Chapter I, “Memory” of the text of A Director Prepares by Anne Bogart, I focused just on the word “memory,” because in the most elementary sense, memory for me as an actor/performer is what theater is about. I memorize my lines or memorize a dance routine and present that memory as if it were a fresh, impulsive moment. Then, I must remember it every time it is performed as if it were the first, although it might be the thousandth time it is performed.
So, when I continue reading, Bogart brings me beyond my elementary vision into depth of perception, providing an exciting journey into her perception of the memory of our American Theatre. She tells us that every play has a question inside that endures throughout time and as I applied that concept to my literature course, I am acutely aware of that same question existing in literature. As in Franz Kafka’s “The Hunger Artist,” there is a question to be remembered and an answer to be found.
Bogart remembers and goes back to find the “shoulders” upon which the American Theatre stands. It stands on the history of the past not only in the American past but in the European Theatre past. She tells us about the McCarthy period, almost forgotten, which sent production of theatre underground and stifled. In some cases, it stopped forever.
However, my belief is that from disastrous events, unique and extraordinary results occur. So, through and after the McCarthy Era, our American Theatre found a new direction with Tennessee William’s “Camino Real,” Thorton Wilder’s “Our Town,” and my favorite, enduring, still excitingly relevant, Arthur Miller’s “Death of a Salesman.” The questions which arise in “Death” have impact on today’s audience due to the present economic crisis in America with thousands of people losing their jobs.
Bogart also wants to find an “artistic explosion” for a new direction of the American Theatre that is poetic, personal, intimate and colossal—a kind of humanity on stage that demands attention and that expresses who we are and that life is BIGGER. I can’t sleep, just for remembering and trying to imagine what that might be.
I sit and remember my personal history and each event becomes vividly real. I walk through the past as the child totally enjoying the moment, but I watch, observe and feel the journey of today with great excitement. I am too late for a new “dream,” but I am still able to open doors of my mind to experience the joys of “memory” of achieved dreams.
Terror: A Youthful Encounter to Art and Entertainment
A terrifying event in theater, such as a tornado that swoops down, lifts the house where Dorothy and Toto are sleeping. That is a horrific event for a young audience.
I have experienced the same initial introduction to art through terror as Anne Bogart states in A Director Prepares, Chapter on Terror. My experience, however, was with the film “The Wizard of OZ,” with Judy Garland.
As a child I was terrified by the tornado swooping down and lifting the house, Dorothy and Toto in a whirl-wind terror from Aunt Mem’s, that I had difficulty concentrating on the landing into the beautiful, colorful and joyful “Land of OZ.” If the terror of the tornado wasn’t enough, the Wicked Witch of the West presented an even more terrifying, frightening figure, threatening Dorothy and Toto. Of course, the Good Fairy gives Dorothy protection with the red shoes, and I settled into the journey along the yellow brick road and had a most enjoyable segment until I see Dorothy, Toto, Tin Man, Scarecrow, and Lion going into see the Wizard. The music, the set design, the strange army of characters scares me again and I sit in fear and terror for Dorothy, Toto and their new friends.
As an impressionable child, I saw shadows of trees in my bedroom at night as scary, creepy monsters and the thought of Dorothy going in to see the scary, terrifying Wizard was traumatic for me.
Disney characters created the same “horror.” The mean stepmother and the cruel stepsisters hurt my little heart and the only satisfaction was that they lost and Cinderella won. A revenge theme, to this day, is the joy of my watching a situation unfold, reading a good novel or seeing an excellent film. (I even have my own Cinderella story to tell of a hard-working Cinda in the Kingdom of the State House, where she willingly commits to work on a huge project. She works diligently but does not get invited to the ball. When the King sees that Cinda’s name is not on the guest list, he inquires only to find that the invitations were withheld by the wicked “sisters-of-the-project.” The good deeds are rewarded and the revenge innocently unfolds.)—now, back to Bogart.
So, terror begins my journey into the world of art, theatre and entertainment, but the most enjoyable genre of film, novel, or play for me is revenge. I am excited when the villain gets the just reward and the down trodden flourish in beauty and joy. Maturity provides me the comprehension that the “land of OZ” is a make-believe place and a fantasy where no one really lives, except me. As an actor, I learn each day to face the many experiences of “terror” in the audition process, the memorization process, the opening nights process, the review process, the acceptance process, the forgot-my-lines process. Nonetheless, I have come to realize the “terror” stems from not knowing when the unknown is known, whether it be lines or motives then the terror becomes something different—a semantic change. When I change the word “terror” to anticipation or excitement, my motivation becomes positive. To live in the moment, listening to the dialogue of life on and off stage, changes the dynamics of terror and creation occurs. The person in life or the actor on stage is the “vessel” through which spontaneity travels to exude the creative art. The willingness to allow the energy to carry me into the unknown is no longer terrifying because I am anchored in what I know, I know.
Eroticism: The Undercurrent of Our World
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